Posted by
James Trenchard
What does the maid of honour do?
Knowing what to do as the maid of honour is an important question for you to know the answer to and that's what we're here to help with. We'll set out the most significant aspects of being a maid of honour, giving you tips and advice on how to handle every part of your role with a calm and composed attitude.
Although all of the important parts of being the maid of honour are about to reveal themselves, there are always going to be questions you come up with that you still need some help with and we're always at the end of a phone to help with the answers. If you're not in the mood to speak with us (we know some great jokes though... just saying) then we'd be equally as happy to help via email and /or text.
Whether you get in touch or not, we are sure that this will help to clear some things up for you.
Who should be the maid of Honour?
Right, if you're the maid of honour reading this, skip this section unless you're looking for a bit of an ego boost (so you're still reading on obviously). Ok, now it's not always an easy decision to choose a maid of honour as it's such an important role during one of the most important day of your life. Instantly there might be a person or people that spring to mind... it might not even be a consideration to you, in which case we're not sure why you're still reading this. For other people, there might be a handful or even dozens of people to choose from.
You'll need to choose the one person (sometimes there may be joint maid of honour duties between 2 important people) who you feel can cope with your requirements on the big day and also in the lead up. It could be a best friend or family member who has shown an ability to arrange things, but this isn't a necessity. If the person cares about you enough, they'll pull everything out of the bag to make sure that you get the best hen party and wedding that you can, with minimal worry from your side.
Ultimately, the person you choose will be responsible for some pretty substantial parts of your bridal experience and it's upto you who that person will be. Our top advice would be to choose someone who you love and who it will mean a lot to. If the person feels absolutely grateful for having the role, they are more likely to nail it for you.
~ Choose the maid of honour you feel is the right person ~
Should the maid of honour organise the hen party?
In a nutshell, yes, the maid of honour is more than likely going to be tasked with putting together a weekend or short break which the bride-to-be will never forget. You're not alone in organising this however. You almost certainly know what floats the bride-to-be's boat and there is a great chance that the bridesmaids and the bride-to-be's selected hen party guests will know a whole load of stuff about her. With the collective knowledge that all of you have, you should be able to come up with a hen party that the bride-to-be will likely never forget.
It may be worth having a quick chat with the bride-to-be before you look into anything in too much detail, just in case there's anything that she definitely doesn't want to do. For example, not every woman wants a greasy stripper slapping his #aubergineemoji in their face, but some might. Some brides-to-be may just want a chilled weekend with friends and family before the big day, even though they're not usually shy when it comes to consuming mass units.
You'll probably be spot on with a lot of the things you're thinking about for the hen do, but you want it to be perfect and so having a quick should eradicate any issues on what should be the bride-to-be's final night of freedom.
There are some mega options for you to choose from and we've written lots of pieces already for you to browse over, so take a look at any of these articles for inspiration:
Top hen do destinations / Bristol hen party ideas / Nottingham hen do activities
Simple hen do ideas / The best hen party themes / Outdoor activities for any group / Evening hen party ideas
What does the maid of honour do on the wedding day?
The maid of honour will be instrumental in the running of the wedding day, not to put too much pressure on you. The last thing the bride will want to be doing on her special day will be running around and making sure that everything is going smoothly. With this in mind, it's good to have a rough idea of the day's itinerary so that you know all the whats, whens and wheres. From when the cars will arrive to pick the bridal party up, through to catering and playlist for the evening reception, you can get as intricate as you like with all the plans for the day. The bride will really appreciate your efforts on the day, especially if it means that she can relax a bit more and focus on having a drink, cutting the cake and dancing the night away without having to organise anything more. Even if the wedding is at a hotel or any other venue with staff running the proceedings, you can still get well and truly involved, by talking to the staff and asking to be a part of the organisation as much as possible. Being a go-between in such situations can make you invaluable for the bride on the day.
Helping the bride to get dressed is a task usually bestowed upon the maid of honour and probably the bridesmaids too. Depending on what the bride has chosen for her big day, it may require assistance to get into it. Making sure that she looks perfect is a task which carries with it quite some responsibility, but all you have to do is listen to the bride and help as much as required. Make sure anyone carrying staining liquids/substances (wine/lipsticks etc) are kept as far away as possible. It will also be your task to make sure that the bride looks exceptional in every single photo, as well as helping her to get in and out of cars and even go to the loo, all of which which can be challenging if she's in a dress which requires a team of assistants to manoeuvre.
You will be in charge of the bridesmaids, so utilise them as much as possible. They don't want to be stood around doing nothing, so ask them to help you too. It's not a solo job and just as the bride will be grateful to you, you'll be glad of all their help. Work with the groomsmen too as with everyone working together, rounding up guests, making announcements on behalf of the bride and groom is a much easier job with all of you helping out.
~ Team work makes the dream work ~
What other roles does the maid of honour have?
As well as all of the above, there are other things throughout the engagement and wedding that you can be a massive help with, again relieving some of the pressure from the bride-to-be (and less importantly, the groom-to-be).
- Helping to choose the wedding dress: One of the things that most brides-to-be will consider to be a crucially important selection for their wedding day is, of course, the dress. It's likely that the bride-to-be will have an idea of what she likes already, but going and trying them on will give her the best demonstration of what suits and does not suit her. She may even decide to try something different from her original opinions. You will be there to help her along on this journey and give her your honest opinions. Together, you should be able to find the most absolutely stunning dress for what is one of the biggest days in her life.
- Sounding board for ideas: The bride-to-be will no doubt use you as someone trusted to run her wedding/hen party ideas past. You know her really well, so give her your opinions. You may not agree with everything she says and we think that honesty is the best policy. There's a whole load of things to think about when arranging a wedding, so all of the help you can provide will probably be gratefully received. Make sure not to overstep the mark though and try to only make suggestions that you've already discussed, unless you know that she'll like them. Knowing the bride-to-be so well should mean that you know when to speak out and when to go with with what she's saying.
- Collecting dresses, flowers and other miscellaneous items: Carrying on from the point that there's a lot to arrange for a wedding, you can be even more helpful by running errands for the happy couple. There will almost certainly be things which need picking up before and taking back after the big day. From the bridesmaids' dresses and flowers, to crockery and table decorations (likely if planning a DIY wedding or evening reception), you can be super helpful by going to pick things up for the happy couple.
The first duty of the maid of honour
The points above are aimed at showing you everything that you'll likely have to deal with in your role as the maid of honour. One of the first things to decide on is the hen party, which we've told you about above. If the wedding date is set, then it's probable that you'll be starting to look at arranging the hen party. Should that be the case, then we are the people who can help you out. We'll help you out by exchanging our ideas with yours to create the perfect hen party package, creating a hen do that the bride-to-be will find amazing.
We create bespoke hen party packages, based on exactly what you are looking for and also offer individual payment accounts for everyone going, get everything booked for you with a £50 deposit and provide you with a detailed itinerary and support throughout the whole process.
We hope that you've finished reading and now have a huge feeling of enlightenment and peacefulness. You'll smash it!
A summary about the maid of honour
Getting chosen as the maid of honour comes with a few responsibilities, but is an exceptionally privileged role and one you've been chosen for. Embrace your role as the maid of honour and you'll blitz all of the following parts:
- How to arrange an amazing hen party
- Help on the wedding day
- Ask the bridesmaids and groomsmen to help
- Helping the bride to get dressed and look perfect all day
- Organise the bridesmaids
- Run errands before and after the wedding
- Enjoy the honour of being the maid of honour
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